WORLDWIDE EXCLUSIVE: The Great Robbini’s predictions for Game #16 regular season finale | 2013-2014 Dallas Cowboys vs. Philadelphia Eagles

The GREAT Robbini looking into his Crystal Ball - The Boys Are Back blog 2013

Regular readers know that The Boys Are Back website features the ALMOST WORLD FAMOUS predictions from The GREAT Robbini. Our “exalted one” predicts the fate of America’s Team with unprecedented precision and accuracy from week-to-week.  Kinda!

Last week, eerily donning his old Jon Kitna jersey and a handful of Doan’s back pills, The GREAT Robbini correctly predicted a Dallas Cowboys win over the NFC East division cellar dwelling Washington Redskins. It was a close game … full of dramatic Cowboy mystic on the back (literally) of Tony Romo grit and determination. That rematch was a must-win game and ended with a Romo last minute do-or-die drive! It set up this NFL flexed Sunday Night primetime showdown with the Philadelphia Eagles. The Kelly green bunch from Philadelphia are full of confidence and strutting like the only cock in a packed hen house. Well, let’s just say … it’s yet to be determined just WHO will be circling WHO in this final battle! Dallas does have the philanthropic math teacher from Washington back on the roster, in case there is a true blue quarterbacking emergency! 

Tonight, The GREAT Robbini has eagerly stroked his balls and envisions a complete Viking-like transformation behind the leadership of Kyle Orton, the X-Factor Dez Bryant, and Marinelli’s Misfits anchored by world-class sackmaster DeMarcus Ware. Let it be known, the aging Robbini is drawing on decades (maybe centuries) of crystal ball and leather ball waxing and rubbing. Do NOT take his predictions lightly! As you can see from his glaring-eyed, younger than Monte Kiffin’ish reflection above, he’s drawing on some serous vibes (and possibly indigestion or constipation issues)!

The GREAT ONE was able to shoot me an email with some astonishing sights and stats. His glossy ball emitted images of a very determined Jason Garrett lead Dallas Cowboys team and supportive home crowd sportin’ some Christmas and New Year playoff magic. Jerry Jonesfive dollar Miller Lite’s will help.

Obviously, he’s psyched about the Dallas Cowboys vs. Philadelphia Eagles rematch with Chippy the Hippy… and ready to share his prognostications that we all count on from week-to-week. Without further delay, it’s time for The GREAT Robbini’s predictions …

The GREAT Robbini’s – 2013-2014 Dallas Cowboys game #16 predictions:

Cowboys Win

The 2013 Dallas Cowboys become the unlikely division winner. If that isn’t enough don’t forget that the Cowboys now have the distinction of twice sweeping the division. Something no other team in the NFC East has ever pulled off.

Do you wanna know how they do it? Its quite simple.

Without Tony Romo, the tattered Dallas defensive unit comes in ready to play. Knowing they now have to force stops, make tackles, and take away balls. In a measure of self-preservation, the NFL’s worst ranked D steps up to the challenge.

There’s more.

In the absence of Tony Romo this offensive line goes into beast mode. For the sake of Romo (and the season) and in a showing for Kyle Orton and D Murray, these guys play precision football. Dez and Co. dedicate an All-Star showing to their fallen general by lighting an offensive fire before the home crowd’s eyes. Jason Garrett’s Dallas Cowboys rise up on Sunday night and make a statement.

These guys play as a team. They have to. The only shame is having to wait until now. That it had to come to this. With plenty of excuses, this team very well could’ve ended it 12-4 and clinched a birth weeks ago. Missing personnel, bad planning, and premature celebrations. We’ve seen it all. Well, on Sunday Night Football you’ll see something else. Something you can be proud of.

Predictions for the Texas 2 Defense …

  • 2 takeaways
  • 3 sacks on Foles
  • Foles fumbles the ball
  • 2 sacks Hatcher
  • 1 sack Ware
  • fumble recovery Church
  • D gives up 310 in the air
  • D gives up 110 on the ground
  • Foles rushes for 20yds

WORLDWIDE EXCLUSIVE - The Great Robbini’s predictions for Game #16 regular season finale - 2013-2014 Dallas Cowboys vs. Philadelphia Eagles - Chip Kelly

Predictions for the offense …

  • Orton 300 yds.
  • Bryant Touchdown
  • Beasley Touchdown
  • Witten Touchdown
  • Murray Touchdown
  • Austin Touchdown
  • Murray/Randall 155 all purpose yards
  • Dez 150yards
  • Witten 50yards
  • Cowboys receive second half kick

The GREAT Robbini

Remember, you read it here! The Great Robbini predictions for game #16 regular season finale. Feel free to leave your final score or predictions in the comment section.


Stats and predictions to be confirmed by:

button - Dallas Cowboys Box Score - NFL Box score - 2013-2014 Dallas Cowboys

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3 responses

  1. Eagles swept the division in the mid 2000’s. Moron.

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    1. No need to be a jackass. This post is published in fun and is intended to provide parody and amusement to our regular readers. His quote and stat is accurate if Dallas wins the game … “Cowboys now have the distinction of TWICE sweeping the division. Something no other team in the NFC East has ever pulled off.”. Your participation is welcome, just don’t be a prick. — Robert D Knight, editor

      Note: The 1998 Dallas Cowboys became the first ever NFC East team to sweep their division en route to capturing the NFC East title, the team’s sixth of the 90’s. They are the ONLY team in the division with this accomplishment during the FIVE team (Cowboys, Giants, Redskins, Cardinals, Eagles), 16 game structure. The 13-3 Eagles went undefeated in the NFC East in 2004, sweeping the Cowboys, Giants, and Redskins en route to their only Super Bowl appearance (defeated by the New England Patriots). With a win Sunday Night, the Dallas Cowboys can become the only team in the NFC East to sweep division opponents twice.

      Like

    2. I’m just going to assume that you’re a direct descendant of a Santa booing, jealous, empty Philadelphia sport fan. Surrounded by viable pro franchises, its probably tough to swallow seeing all of that competition succeeded across a wide spectrum of sports.

      Like

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