Currently, your Dallas Cowboys are ranked #2 on the NFL FAN REWARDS program! Check out the embarrassing rankings below …
The New England Patriots ranked #1 (in points earned, fan participation)??? Seriously??? That should bother any self-respecting Dallas Cowboys fan!!!
Sure, the Dallas Cowboys are ranked #1 in registered fans. There are 308,903 Dallas Cowboys fans registered for NFL FAN REWARDS. That’s something to be proud of … but, there is a problem …
The Dallas Cowboy FANS aren’t racking up enough points! Look at that! Registered fans that signed up and forgot who they’re representing in the world of NFL fandom … America’s Team … God’s Team! Aren’t you embarrassed? We’re down in the basement with the likes of the Cleveland Browns for God’s sake! Lions! Chiefs! Bears! and lowly Cincinnati Bengals!
I know for a fact that some True Blue fans are racking up the points (like your fearless editor on this blog – robertdknight) … participating regularly (like myself, even loosing valuable sleep on occasion)… racing home before the midnight daily deadline … pumping up those point totals like real men! Then, we have the slackers! Shame on YOU!
Not to rub it in … but you could OWN one of these valuable prizes with your NFL FAN REWARDS coins! Boast about the significant discounts (5-20%) on the NFL photo store or the NFL shop. That pencil eraser could be YOURS! Think about it … you could save 10% on that new Miami Dolphins Ray Finkle jersey for your father in law! Who doesn’t need NFL logo’ed socks for the wintertime? And the picture over the fireplace … ditch it! Snatch up custom framed photograph of Bernie Kosar (sportin that star on his helmet) from the NFL photo store! You need this stuff! Your spouse will totally understand and appreciate your dedicated effort. The mowing and edging can wait! Rain washes cars!
Don’t worry. As you’ve come to expect, I have the solution! Drop everything, put the kids in bed, seal yourself off from the rest of the world … and dedicate your life to this worthy cause! I promise that your testosterone levels will increase 50% and your penis will grow 30% by the time you reach Hall of Fame status (which I will reach this month)! You trust me, right?